It’s almost been a decade since I’ve blogged and so much has happened. From more troupe changes, to my own personal life changing dramaticly the last few years… there’s a bit more than I’d really like to share here tonight. But I used to find solice in shouting into the void, especially a void that’s mine, not tainted with the social popularity contest that is existing these days so I’ve decided to come back.
I’ll be talking mainly about burlesque and how it feels aging in a industry that mostly doesn’t allow you to age unless you continue to look 25 and you keep your body around a size 5. I unfortunately, look my age (nearly 40) and my waistline reflects the past five years of change, of loss, of struggles.
I’ll be talking about trying to keep up… trying not to give up… trying to find the love that brought me to burlesque in the first place but trying to find it alone, and not because of the love I had for others. I want to make my own mark in burlesque. I want my name to be known outside of my troupe and my duo. I need a new community, but I’m so shell shocked… I don’t even know where to start… or how to trust.
I’ll be talking about the small joys I notice because I don’t want this blog to just be pain. I dont want to sound like I don’t love this craft. I just want to be transparent about things everyone whispers about.
I’m sure very few people will read any of these and I don’t think I want to really promote them, but if you’ve found me, welcome to the most bitter, broken, and jaded burlesque performer you’ll ever meet. My thoughts are going to be unfiltered but they’re my own, not to be reflected on anyone I associate with. Let’s see if I continue here. Who knows.
